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Strengths blog
Every day an adventure
"I read in a recent article that of the 60,000 people who lived to be over 100 years old in the United States last year, the single most important characteristic they had in common was their ability to be positive in the face of change. They were able to look at things objectively, put them in perspective and move on. They didn’t try to control the uncontrollable."
So says Dr. Debra Peppers in a recent article in the St. Louis Globe-Democrat called Spicing It Up: The Science of Happiness. Dr. Peppers, a professional speaker and member of the national teachers Hall of Fame, goes on to talk about:
- waking up each morning to see the day as an edventure to be experienced;
- viewing setbacks with a sense of wonder;
- focusing on living in the moment;
- stretching your comfort zone; and
- living with an attitude of expectation.
This one is worth reading. These ideas mirror those I will be exploring this Saturday in Yarmouth, Maine in my new seminar, What Do I Want? How Do I Live It? Join me and we'll learn from Dr. Peppers, happy people who live to 100, and scores of others. What an adventure!
How to feel better
Look around. All around you are people madly scrabbling to control the other people and circumstances in their lives. It is LOT of work and results in a LOT of frustration and disappointment. In this brief video, I share the beginnings of a shift in perspective that yields very different results. Not "as soon as THAT changes, I'll feel better," but "I'll feel better so the circumstances can change."
For more information on the March 20 seminar, visit
www.strengthsinfocus.com/cylseminar
Let go of the “how”
"How is none of you business!" These were the bold words I recently read in a book about building a business with soul. These same words apply to any endeavor, to life! Nothing stops us in our tracks like the word "how." Why? Because we tend to think only in terms of the people, events and circumstances that are in our realm of consciousness right now, even though that can change in an instant.
Someone who wants to fall in love has a hard time considering the stranger they may rear-end on the way to work today - and marry next year. Someone who wants to change careers is unlikely to figure into their "planning" the perfect job they've never heard of or the small inheritance that will make their dream of returning to school possible. As far as our minds can consider, these don't yet exist, so can't be part of the equation. Except they are. We just can't be doing the calculating.
So if not "how," then what?
Exactly.
We keep our focus on "what!" When we get clear on the "what" and that "what" excites us and draws energy through us, then the next step becomes clear, then the next, then the next. Each step builds on the last and each step is built on the new people, events and circumstances created by the last step.
In an interview with Charlie Rose, Will Smith, whose movies have grossed more than $5 billion worldwide, said his success comes from never considering the size of the mountain he wants to climb. He just names what he wants, then lays down the first brick, then the next, then the next.
I remember a colleague of mine who wanted to go to a graduate program at Harvard. She didn't have the money, but really wanted to go. Step One: Get accepted - check. Once that was done, she had just a few months to come up with $50,000. How could this ever be done? Step 2: She began to apply for little independent scholarship grants, those ones from the DAR or little family foundations. (How could she ever raise $50,000 in a few months doing this? What an unrealistic plan!) But one little application led to another, each referring her to the next, each piece of money contributing to a better and better story for the next application. She just kept following the energy and by the time she was done (just before the deadline), she had $50,000 - and her "what" - a masters degree from Harvard.
"How" was none of her business. She knew the "what" and let the energy of this dream drive the first step, which led to another, which led to another. It was an unrealistic plan, except that it worked. And it worked because she let the energy of her "what" be her guide. She stayed awake to her dream and let her action flow from her focus.
All that is required is that the "what" energize you, fill you up, align with who you are. That has real organizing power - the power to attract the people, events and circumstances needed to accomplish your "how" - one step at a time. The "how" is none of your business.
© 2010 Chris Trout, Strengths in Focus
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If you'd like to truly know your "what" and begin moving toward it today,
join me on March 20th in Yarmouth, Maine for What Do I Want? How Do I Live It?
See how you can still get the early bird price… or even attend for free!
Taking off the gloves
For some reason, we like to think of those who inspire us - speakers, writers, etc. - as having it all together. After all, how can they be teaching/guiding others if they are struggling themselves? Well, if I've learned nothing else in my travels, it is that this is both unrealistic and undesirable.
Why? Because its dishonest. No matter how "good" someone presents, the truth is that we are all on our own journeys, full of potholes and triggers and gremlins that bite us in the behind when we least expect it. That's the ride! That is what makes this all so interesting!
That is one of the reasons I have been so excited about the March 20 seminar (What Do I Want? How Do I Live It?) in Yarmouth. My journey has been one of allowing myself to teach what I "know." But true "knowing" requires risk and experimentation and, quite frankly, falling on your behind - sometimes hard! (I did that last year, when I presented Subtle Shifts, a seminar about getting out of your own way - which is exactly what I did NOT do myself!) The irony was not lost on me. It hurt. My inner judges had a field day! But I learned so much about trusting self and staying connected with core and "being enough."
It is the journey that teaches, and the more willingly we experience and notice that journey, the closer we get to our own "knowing." On March 20, it is that "knowing" that will transform lives. I can't wait - for you and for me!
To love life…
When all is said and done - when you clear the clutter, quiet the chatter and ask quietly, "What do I really, really want?" - what do you desire?
To love life. To be so filled with wonder and awe and excitement that life feels exquisitely full and precious.
To be satisfied… and to feel excited for what is to come.
Why do we feel this so deeply? Because this is, in fact, our purpose: To love life. We are here to fall in love, for when we are in love, we are lighter, more accepting, more engaged, more loving. We are smarter, more insightful, more creative and better problem-solvers. We have better ideas, enjoy the doing and, when we are tired, it is that luscious "good tired" that comes from exerting great energy doing what we love.
So we go about trying to control life so that we might feel this way - the right job, the right partner, the right house, the right thought. "As soon as" becomes our mantra. But life gets in the way and "as soon as" seems to slip away over and over again. We keep bumping into other people trying to control circumstances in ways that don't match ours. We keep bumping into ourselves as the different parts of our life want different things - kids, partner, health, career, dreams, money… On and on the list goes, and there we are trying to "get it right" in every arena, so that we can finally feel good.
But loving life comes from loving life, not controlling life. A life filled with people and circumstances that we love comes from the practice of loving the people and circumstances of life. Crazy, I know! But when we allow ourselves to fall in love with life, to see and focus on all there is to love, and to even fall in love with our wanting, then the people and circumstances of our life seem to line up in a way that was never possible when we were trying to control it all.
This is the paradox and this is the power. Utterly satisfied with where we are… and eager for more.
I've been collecting snippets of interviews with joyful and successful people f0r the March 20th seminar, What Do I Want? How Do I Live It? As I do, I am amazed at how consistent this dynamic is. They all loved life when they were poor and unknown. They all are deeply curious and awe-struck by the journey. And they all are still eager for more.
Here's how it looks for me: I just can't wait to spend a day with a room full of people who want this. I can't wait to both inspire and experience that deep and profound wanting. I can't wait to see and feel the joy of discovery and that uncontainable energy of tuning in and turning on to possibility. I know how this changes lives and the thought of it alone inspires me and pulls me forward. This is the feeling that create worlds.
To love life. That is life.